Cinemosity 147 – House of Wax (2005)

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Cinemosity hits you with the Golden Globes talk you didn’t realize you needed! Then there’s celebration for the box office success of HIDDEN FIGURES! Screw you slightly overrated Star Wars spin-off! Don’t hurt us.

Meanwhile racism, misogyny and just plain old selling out plagues the obnoxious assholery of Lee Daniels and Tyler Perry as they cry about “reverse racism” and other stupidity. We’re waiting for the list of all of the actors Tyler Perry says he made millionaires, the prick. Also, Steve Harvey with his big old shiny dome and white picket fence teeth had the nerve to laugh at the idea that Asian men could be attractive. Also a prick.

Then there’s the movie. It’s HOUSE OF WAX 2005 with Jared Padalecki, CHOCOLATE CITY star Robert Richard and, yes, Paris Hilton. Cuz this movie was sold on the fact she gets killed. And die she does in horrible fashion! It can’t help this painfully mediocre horror remake that isn’t even really a remake of the Vincent Price classic House of Wax but instead the fun 1979 slasher Tourist Trap. Seriously, go watch that one it’s on Shudder. The next show is the remake Martin has avoided for 10 years, the remake of one of his favorite films THE HITCHER.

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Into and outtro music from STREET CLEANER featuring guitars from Jon of the Shred